"The UK is deeply flawed and I'm not sure I will be able to look past it forever.
But it may not be up to me, whether I stay or go. Which would suck.
If Britain remains, it will come down to other factors.
If it leaves, that might simply be it. Pack your bags or...
I'd like to be the one to decide."
It was supposed to be a happy day. Midsummer celebrations clogging my Facebook feed and comments about the sun finally deigning us with its presence. But no. It was a sad day that I woke up to filled with a lot of f-words in the wake of the EU referendum.
Because on the 23rd June 2016 a country failed.
I knew it happens occasionally, history tells us as much, I just never thought that I would be having a front row seat to the events, let alone be within its borders as they snapped around my future like a bear trap in the forest. Cutting it off. Plunging it into the dark unknown.
Having had a bad feeling from the start I wasn’t surprised or shocked when I woke up after a long shift at work to see the news. I was sad. Resigned. I must admit I had a moment of ”I told you so” when I saw how so many promises made to the Brexit supporters were already being broken, less than four hours after the results. I saw how the pound plunged into depths hitherto unknown and how the despair of a generation that has been screwed over yet again by their older peers took hold.
I have already done this post once before so I won't do it again. I will instead leave you with this excerpt from the devised play (Can this be) Home? that I created together with the amazing Icelandic director Kolbrun Björt Sigfusdottir.
"I'm finding myself in a state of flux
At once sure of the future and totally uncertain like Schrödinger's cat
Cause once again I find myself realizing that I will not spend forever in a city that I used to love so much
Still I do, I really do.
But it's no longer enough.
I look at what I have come to call my home and it's so dull -
yet full of everything I love and everyone I admire.
And I have to go, let go.
Nothing lasts forever.
So let's change.
Let's stop being afraid!
I don't want more fears, no more words to be saved for that right moment,
or voices telling me to stay even though they never speak to me when I do.
Life is -
Life is watching strangers pass you by, it's meeting friends and watching them go.
Life is full of almosts and maybes and could haves and I think...
I think this is the biggest one of all."